she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
