I don't think brook has ever known best
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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