HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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