Where is the hickey?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
