your parents love me but you hate me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
