I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
