2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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