why didn't you poke me back
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
