She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
