Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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