Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
