I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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