Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the day after is always just damage control
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
