Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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