is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
