I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
