So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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