I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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