he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
