Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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