why do cheetos always look like penises
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
