Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
