Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
