Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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