i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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