my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
