I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I could fuck to npr.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
