You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
