We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have tasted many bathrooms
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
