trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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