So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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