return my video game
high people should be assigned attendants
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
