JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize