My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
