Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
