the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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