Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
