I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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