PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
