I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
