Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
