But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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