There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
