I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
