He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize