ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
