he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
50% drunk capacity currently
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
