He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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