the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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