My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
