guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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