Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Alive.
So much puke
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
