He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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