I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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