i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have aggressive nipples.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
