I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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