Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
