You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
